Friday, April 14, 2006

wandering thoughts


Hot and tired. Taking a break from the yard to post about some things that have been running through my head as I weeded, transplanted, cleaned up.

1. A family anecdote: When Erin was in the first or second grade and little girl popularity and acceptance a great concern, she explained the difference between one of her friends and herself: "Lane is 75 mph, and I'm only 50 mph." An astute observation as Lane's family had lived in that tiny town forever, owned the local bank, and had power, prestige, and money, but were also kind and generous and down-to-earth. Erin was a recent transplant. Lane was absolutely confident and probably rarely questioned her actions, thoughts, or behaviors. Erin was more diffident and always reflective. It was an excellent comparison for the time, and her Dad and I were impressed. Erin continued to pick up speed, of course, and gained in confidence and sometimes now keeping up with her mouth and mind is difficult for me. I'm still chugging along at 55 mph, I'll never quite catch up. She has her father's quick wit, I've never been witty or quick, but I'm a great appreciator of both.

2. Karoda's comments on journals. I, too, have kept written journals since college. I never reread them, they are the epitomy of boredom: to do lists, poems, book titles, recipes, daily grind, etc. The earliest ones mention people that have evaporated from my memory. All of them contain the angst K. mentions, and rants and self-pity and remarks that were never intended to be read. I keep thinking that I'll destroy them... after going through and pulling out the important things: Amelia saying, " Look, Mama, the moon is broken!" or Erin's "I've got an idid!" (idea) The time Erin shut Amelia's fingers in the back door, the first visits to Santa, the birthdays, all those little moments that have value. But I have not yet gotten around to it and suspect that I will never be able to go through them all. A dilemma.

3. Blogging and the Flat World. Deborah and Karoda have commented on the importance of blogging and both of them mentioned aspects of blogging that appeal to me as well. As I continue, oh.so.slowly, to make my way throught Friedman's The World Is Flat, I see the communication barriers that have been erased in the blogging world. The creative minds and talented people, the innovative ideas, the new designs, the inventive techniques, the modern tools, improved materials, the imaginative challenges that are available to all of us so quickly and easily.... The inspiration to be found in various blogs goads and motivates us; we aspire to more. If there is no local community of like-minded people or stores that stock the new tools and materials - the blogs become the community, the internet the source of supplies. Marvelous, really, yet I have begun to take it for granted.

1 comment:

  1. Jen, it sounds like your journals reflect more than just the grueling aspects of human emotion...mine seldom did and lacked balance or worse, just didn't come close to being me in any way descriptive of my whole person. And I couldn't live knowing that after I died that I would hurt someone that I loved with my words.

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