Thursday, November 16, 2006


I stole these from Booklogged, who stole them from another blog - so I don't know the original source, but they are the best that the pharma-pseudical companies have come out with lately. I intend to be the local representative and will soon be independently wealthy.


D A M N I T O L -Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours.

E M P T Y N E S T R O G E N -Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding you of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out.

ST. M O M M A'S W O R T -Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to two days.

P E P T O B I M B O -Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and prevents conception.

D U M B E R O L -When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks.

F L I P I T O R - Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.

M E N I C I L L I N -Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases resistance to such lethal lines as, "You make me want to be a better person. "

BUYAGRA -Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping Increases potency, duration, and credit limit of spending spree.

J A C K A S S P I R I N -Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary, phone number, or to lift the toilet seat.

A N T I-T A L K S I D E N T -A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers in elevators.

N A G A M E N T -When administered to a boyfriend or husband, provides the same irritation level as nagging him.


  1. These are hilarious, Jen! Thanks for posting them. LOL

  2. Angie and Debra - Aren't they funny? I'd order the whole lot if I could!

  3. That's got my day off to a great start -- I've sent them on to a few people who need them -- thanks!

  4. Margaret- :) I'm glad they had that kind of psychological effect! I've mailed them to a few people, too.

    Lias - :) I'd love some Damnitol right now!

  5. Put me on the list for Damnitol! Anti-Talksident sounds good too; I'd like some at Curves.

  6. Lisa (not Lias) - no wonder I couldn't do the verification letters!

    Kay - I laughed out loud at about the Talksident for Curves!

  7. You need to set this up as a multi-level marketing business and sign us all up. Best product line I've ever seen.

  8. Fran - A great product line, indeed! Just reading about them makes me feel better...

  9. I need full dose of D A M N I T O L and F L I P I T O R ... pronto!


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